I am feeling under the weather today. And it is quite the weather to feel under.
Outside, buckets of rain and thunder and lightning ricochet around, while I, with tissue box and tea in hand, sit on my chair. I am reading my latest issue of People on my Nook, when I decide to delve into a story about Demi Moore.
I'm not sure if you are as savvy as I and keep up with all the juiciest gossip ( insert thick layer of sarcasm here...) but you have been buried under a rock if you haven't heard that Moore and her husband, Ashton Kutcher are no longer. Well, this article squeezed some lemon into that wound as it talked about Kutcher's newest romance, leaving Demi in the dust, so to speak.
Why am I writing a blog about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher? It's because of a quote I read in the article referring to something Demi had said to Harper's Bazaar in a past interview about her biggest fear: "it's that I'm going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I'm really not lovable, that I'm not worthy of being loved."
I have to set my reader down and let that comment soak in. I am thankful for this beautiful movie star's candid openness, but I'm broken-hearted at the lie she is afraid of!
We are ALL worthy of love, if we are talking about the kind of love that is worth it all.
There are many forms of love--in the Greek language, there are 3 that I can define: "Eros" or, romantic, passionate love; "Philia" or, friendly, brotherly love; and "Agape", love that is selfless and totally committed.
Eros + Philia = trouble, pain, confusion, undetermined expectation and comparison, selfishness
Eros + Philia +Agape = complete acceptance, complete devotion, and complete satisfaction.
If you don't know Agape love--the kind that is selfless and committed, that covers the ugly we all have in us--you will never know TRUE love.
I think of my children, and I think of how they see the world around them. It is my passion to teach them the right equation for love, because it was the most difficult, the most challenging, and most eternally exhilarating lesson I've learned in my life (and continue to learn daily!)
Isaac always tells me, "I love you, Mom." I am confident in his hugs and his affection, not because I'm worthy--but because I'm exactly the opposite. I'm confident in my unworthiness, knowing that with the love of Jesus--Agape love--I am free and forgiven, no matter what stains may mare my past, no matter how much devastation has swept through my soul. It's because of this love, this mercy, I am lovable.
I can take a deep breath and close my eyes and know this love...
"Never fails, never gives up, never runs out..."
And that's worth it all.