Sunday, June 5, 2011

oh goodness gracious...

We all have our phrases.  You know, the "mommy phrase" you unconsciously say when things go off...mine is:  "Oh goodness gracious..."  (Yes, I know, it doesn't sound AT ALL ominous, but trust me, it is.)  And yesterday was a phrase day...

Isaac was unusually restless.  He's a busy body to begin with, but I'm not sure it was the box of Skittles he had at a friend's birthday party the night before,a late night coupled with no nap, perhaps my forgetting to give him his vitamins the past 2 days...who knows what the equation was a hot mess.  He and I were both hot messes. 

He couldn't focus or play with one thing for more than 5 minutes.  He was making repetitive noises constantly, and stimming more than usual. He had accidents in his shorts all day, until I ran out of different ways to explain why going potty in our pants isn't acceptable.  His eye contact was nill to zip.  I found myself counting down the minutes until bed time...goodness gracious....

There it was. The phrase that came to mind the most when I was feeling out of sorts, and watching my son separate from his usual self.  And I had to think about what I was really saying...what it really meant. 

Gracious.  Grace.  Goodness.  All of the above...

God was trying to speak to me, and I wasn't listening. 

I decided to take Isaac out to the store with me.  He usually does very well there, and it actually gives him a chance to do tasks with me and accomplish something.  He wouldn't stop making spitting sounds.  There we were, strolling the aisles of the grocery store, and I whispered to myself as I watched Isaac flap his hands and shake his head..."goodness...gracious...please...." 

My prayer.  My phrase.  Daily.

Of course, the day was difficult.  There will always be those days.  The wonderful thing is grace doesn't have a calendar, it isn't picky or choosy about when and where it can soothe the soul--remind a person that it's alright if you can't do it alone.  My God's grace is sufficient for me.  He is my El Shaddai, my All Sufficient One.  And in my day with Isaac, I was reminded of His name and His grace.  His goodness.  My need for Him at all times.

Isaac is a gift to me.  A trying, frustrating, beautiful, miraculous gift that I open each day and see more of God's Holy Spirit pour through...if only I will listen. 

       His goodness and grace speak loud and clear. 

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